It appears that today, August 28th, is Bill's birthday and we would all like to wish him a happy birthday today. I think I can speak for the group when I say that we enjoy the wisdom Bill brings to our group. As everyone knows, with age comes wisdom ... as a result, Bill has a lot of wisdom to share.

How old is Bill? Let's just say that Bill is so old, he calls John McCain a "whipper snapper." He's been around long enough enough to see the steam engine come and go ... in fact he often tells us about the days when horse power really meant horse power. He still looks back fondly on the days when he and his family gathered 'round the Gramophone listening to hits like "It's a Long, Long Way to Tipperary" and "Gasoline Gus and His Jitney Bus". "Ah the good ol' days," he'd recount, "before the steam engine came and brought this country to hell in a handbasket. Give me a horse and buggy any old day." This is not to imply that Bill didn't embrace technology when he saw it made sense. Take the telephone, for example -- Bill was one of the first early adopters. In fact, his first telephone number was 7. Now that's an early adopter. Still, all in all, he seems to have a fondness for the simpler times, "times when all you needed was a good quill and ink set ... back when parchment was strong and sturdy, not this flimsy 'white bond' stuff."

Well, enough about days long gone ... Happy Birthday Bill, may the rest of your days be filled without back strains, pacemakers and memory lapses. And may you never again suffer from memory lapses.

Given that "new girl" has successfully completed the initiation (putting up with the rest of us for several weeks), we now recognize her as officially one of the crew. Her new Delta Tau Chi name is Flounder ... okay, that's been done before ... her new Herndon Fitness Renegades name is Tiffany. We're all excited to have new people join the ranks, especially ones as dedicated as Tiffany. And we especially appreciate ones who can dish it out as well as they take it.

Yep, the Navy squid has gone toe-to-toe with the Army grunt and hasn't backed down one bit. We're all glad to have her on board because she really works hard ... and we look forward to the continued feisty banter that helps to make the workouts go faster.

• Britt Brought his Wife to Class

Britt's Wife Athena showed up on Tuesday morning and got a chance to meet the gang ... afterwards Britt told us not to expect him back for a few weeks ... although he claimed his absence was due to his daughter starting school, the timing is suspicious.

• Weibel Returns!

Still, all-in-all, not considered important enough to warrant feast of fatted calf.

• Estate Sale

After neighbor passes, Priscilla rummages thru dumpster of possessions and bags free hairdryer ... says Priscilla, "Hey, I shoveled snow from her sidewalk one time."

• Joe Pearson Missing

Presumed drunk and face down in Dewey gutter ... last seen muttering, "I'm a star -- match.com would be nothing without me."

Today, July 10th, marks the end of Priscilla's roughly two month challenge to whip herself into shape before she attends a reunion and meets up with old, er former, acquaintences, from days gone by. One of her especially good compatriot in former times was a classmate named Lisa. Priscilla has not kept in great touch with Lisa, although she did hear through the grapevine that Lisa had become a fitness instructor. Not wanting to be outdone, Priscilla took on the challenge to whip herself into shape in the roughly two months leading up to the reunion.

Priscilla set for herself a goal to lose 20 pounds. In addition to making changes to her diet (and cutting down on the gimlets, stingers and other assorted highballs), she has rededicated herself to her workouts. During the two month stretch, she has been a pillar of consistency, if not a model of good form. Well, as of her last weigh-in, she achieved her goal, having lost a total of 20.6 lbs.

We all are proud of her for having followed through on her goal and we look forward to helping her achieve her next goal of slimming down to a size 2 ... sorry, that's crazy talk. Still, we are happy to have helped her in meeting the challenge. Way to go Priscilla!

MIA ... purported to have an ouchy

Our long lost comrade has not been heard from for quite some time, it's going on months now and we're worried sick ... okay, we're concerned ... well, we're moving on and all, but we do sort of miss him sometimes.

So if you know him [and admit to it], then please let him know we're thinking of him ... and in a good way ... mostly.